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Why is my teenager hurting themselves and how can I help?
Self-harm is a way some young people cope with overwhelming feelings, and support helps.
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What it is
Self-harm, or self-injury, is when a person hurts their own body on purpose [5]. The injuries may be minor, but sometimes they can be severe, and they may leave permanent scars or cause serious health problems [5]. Examples include cutting the skin with a razor blade, knife or other sharp object, punching yourself or punching things like a wall, burning yourself with cigarettes, matches or candles, poking objects through body openings, and breaking your bones or bruising yourself [5].
Self-harm is not a mental disorder [5]. It is a behaviour — an unhealthy way to cope with strong feelings — although some people who harm themselves do have a mental disorder [5]. People who harm themselves are usually not trying to attempt suicide, but they are at higher risk of attempting suicide if they do not get help [5].
People of all ages harm themselves, but it usually starts in the teen or early adult years [3]. It is more common in people who were abused or went through a trauma as children, who have mental disorders such as depression, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder or certain personality disorders, who misuse drugs or alcohol, who have friends who self-harm, or who have low self-esteem [3].
Signs that someone may be hurting themselves include frequent cuts, bruises or scars, wearing long sleeves or pants even in hot weather, making excuses about injuries, and having sharp objects around for no clear reason [3].
What you can do at home
- Do not be judgmental, and let the person know that you want to help [2].
- If the person is a child or teenager, ask them to talk to a trusted adult; if they won’t, talk to a trusted adult yourself [2].
- If the person who is self-harming is an adult, suggest mental health counselling [2].
- Remember that a child or adolescent who self-harms does it to release negative emotions, not as a call for attention [10].
- Offer support and active listening, which helps them express their emotions [10].
- At home you can encourage positive alternatives to self-harm to reduce how often it happens [10].
When to see a doctor or go to the emergency department
According to SEUP, you should consult a health professional when:
- The self-harm is frequent (more than five times in the last year) [10].
- There is significant and persistent emotional distress [10].
- The method is potentially dangerous, such as cutting [10].
- There is a high sensitivity to social rejection [10].
- The person has tried to stop self-harming without success [10].
If the self-harm needs specific care, such as stitches, or if there are signs of infection, go to the nearest department with a paediatric emergency service [10].
Common questions
Why do people harm themselves? Often they have trouble coping and dealing with their feelings [6]. They harm themselves to try to make themselves feel something because they feel empty or numb inside, to block upsetting memories, to show that they need help, to release strong feelings that overwhelm them such as anger, loneliness or hopelessness, to punish themselves, or to feel a sense of control [6].
Are there medicines for self-harm? There are no medicines to treat self-harming behaviours [4]. But there are medicines to treat any mental disorders the person may have, such as anxiety and depression, and treating the mental disorder may weaken the urge to self-harm [4].
What treatment helps? Mental health counselling or therapy can help by teaching problem-solving skills, new ways to cope with strong emotions, better relationship skills, and ways to strengthen self-esteem [4]. If the problem is severe, the person may need more intensive treatment in a psychiatric hospital or a mental health day programme [4].
Is self-harm the same as suicide? No. Suicide is the taking of one’s own life, and a suicide attempt is when someone harms themselves to try to end their life but does not die [9]. People who harm themselves are usually not trying to attempt suicide, but they are at higher risk of attempting suicide if they do not get help [5].
Sources
[2] MedlinePlus — “Self-Harm” (2026), section “How can I help someone who self-harms?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/selfharm.html [3] MedlinePlus — “Self-Harm” (2026), section “Who is at risk for self-harm?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/selfharm.html [4] MedlinePlus — “Self-Harm” (2026), section “What are the treatments are for self-harm?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/selfharm.html [5] MedlinePlus — “Self-Harm” (2026), section “What is self-harm?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/selfharm.html [6] MedlinePlus — “Self-Harm” (2026), section “Why do people harm themselves?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/selfharm.html [9] MedlinePlus — “Suicide” (2024), section “What is suicide?”, p. 1 — https://medlineplus.gov/suicide.html [10] SEUP — “Conducta autolesiva no suicida. Información para padres” (2025), section “¿DÓNDE PUEDO ACUDIR SI PRESENTA ALGUNA DE LAS SEÑALES DE ALARMA?”, p. 2
This guide summarises published paediatric guidelines. It is not medical advice and does not replace your paediatrician. In an emergency, call your local emergency number.
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